absinthe after dinner.

Everyone made such a big deal about how terrible 2009 was, and made it a bigger deal to celebrate the beginning of a New Year. Well, I hope all those people feel pretty stupid. Or maybe it's just me. But so far, 2010 has done nothing but suck. I'm starting to live by the motto "If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen to me." Anyways I'm rambling. I really miss my art supplies that I left in Utah. All I can think about lately is painting. I want a gigantic canvas and I just want to paint for hours, nonsense that no one can justify. Nonetheless, the paint is there and I am here. So I've been writing poems more. I really enjoy writing poetry. Mainly because on the rare occasion that I let someone read it, they look at me like "What the fuck?" and then I have the pleasure of explaining the deep rooted meaning behind it all. Or respond, "Yeah, I don't know." For sometimes I don't. I read back on things sometimes and am baffled that some of that stuff even came out of me. It's cool though, it makes me try to go back to that moment, and what I may have been thinking about. The human brain is fascinating. I'm ready for some new ink. I've already have what I want planned. It's just going to be a long time before Chy Pie has any spare cash. That's so disgusting that I just referred to myself in third person, I need to stop that. I've still yet to see Avatar. I'm pretty indifferent about the whole thing. My life is too stressful right now to worry about Blockbusters. I'll probably get around to it. I haven't taken my camera out in weeks. Aside from escapades at Anna's house. I need to get on that. Lately I've been getting this weird feeling like my life is at a stand still. I feel like everything is paused sometimes and I'm just shooting the shit all alone. Speaking of shooting, Tommy, Anna's boyfriend invited me to go out with them the next time they shoot. Sounds like fun. I've always wanted to shoot something. I really love Anna, she keeps me sane. She is hands down the only other human being I connect with on a deep level. I met a boy. Thinking about keeping him. I've been wanting to watch Dumb & Dumber for weeks now. I really need to take care of that. I discovered this ice cream that is literally to die for. I could eat it everyday and never grow weary of it. Valentine's Day is coming up. It's going to be disappointing, like all the others. I'll probably get myself some coffee and white chocolate and eat it off over a good book. Or I'll cave and get paint from somewhere. I really just want to paint. I've been reading this book called The Poetry of Pablo Neruda. It's fascinating. It's about 60% in Spanish, so obviously it's not for all readers. I really enjoy it though. He had an interesting point of view. It challenges me. I never did finish the book I was reading about Marilyn Monroe. I need to do that as well. She was so horrific and fabulous all at the same time. I admire her so much. I might sell my puppy. I'm never home to take care of him. I've been having dreams a lot lately. Vivid, fascinating dreams. Sometimes I read back on my blogs and wonder if I was on acid. This is probably one of them. Good night all.

www.formspring.me/chypie

Try not to waste my time.

Satellite Heart.

If you're a bird, then I'm a bird,

but if you can't fly, then neither will I,

cause then love, is not the right time to die.

Hello winter :) We've had our first snow fall this past week and I got some beautiful pictures that I'm really pleased with out of them. I took as many as I could because I won't be seeing much snow for awhile. I'm off to Texas to start my life over. Good luck, I know. I'm having mixed feelings, but a change of scenery will be welcome. Well, not scenery, but change in faces, rather. My mom bought me a new puppy for Christmas. And in exchange for Jimmy, who is staying here in Utah with her. I named him Emmett, he's a little Chihuahua. Cute as can be. That's him at the top :)

Anyway, new beginnings. Hopefully the best comes from it. I'm thankful of my dad for giving me this chance. New Moon just came out so naturally my Twilight obsession is at a new high. Sue me. What girl doesn't want 2 incredibly romantic and handsome men chasing after them? I can't say I'd object. Packing has proven to be a difficult task. My 120G iPod with over 14,000 songs on it has gone missing. Oh well. What can you do. I've been writing a lot of poetry lately. It's the weather. I'm such a sap. I really love winter. My solo road trip down to Texas should be a good soul searching experience. Not to mention some cool pictures :) Well I'm off for now, lots of packing to do. <3

A Winter Eden

-Robert Frost.

A winter garden in an alder swamp,

Where conies now come out to sun and romp,

As near a paradise as it can be

And not melt snow or start a dormant tree.

It lifts existence on a plane of snow

One level higher than the earth below,

One level nearer heaven overhead,

And last year's berries shining scarlet red.

It lifts a gaunt luxuriating beast

Where he can stretch and hold his highest feat

On some wild apple tree's young tender bark,

What well may prove the year's high girdle mark.

So near to paradise all pairing ends:

Here loveless birds now flock as winter friends,

Content with bud-inspecting. They presume

To say which buds are leaf and which are bloom.

A feather-hammer gives a double knock.

This Eden day is done at two o'clock.

An hour of winter day might seem too short

To make it worth life's while to wake and sport.

I am so thrilled for winter. The leaves changing, the frost in the morning. Cold weather is so romantic. Coming home to a fire place, a good book and a pumpkin spiced latte is an image I'd like to keep all year long. Anyway, I'm working on some prose that I will most likely be making available on here. It's a heavy story, but a joyful one nonetheless. I have been feeling so inspired lately. Music is really putting me back in my true state of mind. The weather helps, too :) I've been reading a Richard Dawkins piece called The God Delusion. It's incredible. He is a truly intelligent individual. I am riveted by his work and hope to inspire others to read it as well. My life should be changing some time soon. For the better , I'm not sure. I'm feeling violently free-spirited. I want to travel the world and see beautiful places. I want to take pictures and paint and dance and love. I'm a sappy mess. I can't say that it bothers me, but I am almost certain it annoys others. Their loss. I have been considering channeling some of my creativity into some sort of design. As you all know I collect antiques. I was thinking to maybe design clothing, perhaps inspired by antiques? We will see. It seems brilliant. I'd buy it. I'd love to make some tee shirts with some old black and whites of Robert Plant.

That's all for now, have a great week.

September.

I am currently in an Anthropology class. A lot of the class is based off of evolution, which is clearly controversial. However, it has opened my mind to a new idea what I find very interesting. Most people assume evolution is a species turning into a completely different species. So many people don't believe in evolution due to the age old question, "If humans evolved from apes, why are there still apes?" Well, an answer. Those who think that way, see evolution as a ladder. One species turning into another and another so on and so forth. An article I read by Stephan Jay Gould proposes that this is all wrong. rather, imagine a tree, with many branches, instead of a ladder. The base of the tree begins with dinosaurs. As you go up the tree, branches begin sprouting off here and there. So we see, on the tree, where the apes were, a branch went off, and that's how we have so many different types of apes, as well as humans. Religion aside, for I will rarely speak about that, I find this idea to be very intriguing. I hope others find it as interesting as I do.

Another thing I'd like to share with you all is Neil deGrasse Tyson's lectures. YouTube it. He is incredible.

A good quote to ponder for today is: "Once the men become phonies, everything becomes phony. Thereafter, if one speaks phony talk to the phonies; the phonies are pleased; if one does phony things as the phonies do, the phonies are pleased; and if one discourses with the phonies through phony writings, the phonies are please. Everything is phony, and everyone is pleased."

Other than all that; not much to share. School and work keep me busy. Leah keeps me sane. I'm so thrilled the weather is changing. It feels so lovely. I'm ready to get some photography of the colors changing. A friend of mine, Chelsea Nelson, may be letting me take some photos of her so that will be a great opportunity to practice. I'm off for now to write an paper for Anthro. Until next time..

And then there was one.

Well, summer was it's usual for me. Being my least favorite season, I've learned to never expect much from it. Though I can't say it was a complete waste. I made an incredible friend whom I dare say is life-long. I enrolled back into school (something I never thought I'd do.) Let's see.. I got a new dog. By new dog, one could mean new OLD dog. All the same, he is new to me, and I saved him from a terrible home. I took a step into bettering myself and making changes that were much needed. Now, bring on the Fall! I'm ready for the leaves to change and the air to be crisp and to wear a coat. Another upside to this summer was I got a new camera for my birthday and my photography is absolutely blooming. It's the first week of school and I can neither confirm nor deny its success. I hope for the best. Now if I just stick to it, I might be able to say I accomplished something.

A few weeks ago I packed up a good 4 bags of clothing, shoes, bags, etc, and sent them off to GoodWill. That's always liberating. Helping people all the while getting rid of some past. Like chopping off your hair. Oh, did I mention I did that, too? That's not one I can say I'm very happy with. But alas, what's done is done. All is well that ends well.

I had an exquisite poem written for me yesterday that I'd like to share:

Your eyes only half inform me of the world that surrounds you,

But the lens, tends to do the rest, your view of life, quite possibly the best.

Pretty, gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, striking, don’t have to list the rest

Now rest, relax, think back to the beautiful ocean and sand,

I view life for what it is, a cold yet beautiful clam

The pearl is what you are Chyna Michelle Lamb.